Monday, November 28, 2011

If I Ruled the (Free) World!

Today a patient said I look like the president. She has dementia, so I'm not sure what she was thinking. But she proceeded to explain something about my glasses and smile.

Personally, I don't see it.

(Please allow me to interrupt this post to say YAY!!! Just got word that my friends just had their first baby!! They haven't announced what it is yet, so I'm not sharing :) So happy for them!)

Anyways, back to being the president. I don't think I look ANYTHING like Obama. Kind of the exact opposite in just about every way. He's a man, I'm a woman. He's black, I'm glow-in-the-dark white. He's middle aged, I'm not. He's got short greying hair, I've got long blonde. Even going back a ways, I don't look like any of the presidents. At all. But, whatever makes my little old ladies happy, I'll go alone with it. It's better than being spit on!

So, if I were president....
~I would spend my first night in office reading "The President's Secret Book"...if it exists! (sorry, I got sucked in by the History channel the other day.)
~I would wear fuzzy socks and slide through all the halls of the White House.
~First Cabinet meeting? Three words: Hide and Seek!
~There would be "Surprise, today's a holiday" days,
where everyone gets the day off.
~All of my official pens would be pink.
~The limo and Air Force one would have to be redecorated. Pink.
~I will only be addressed as Her Highness, the Big Boss Ashley (hey, president is as close to royalty as I can get...
unless I marry a prince...which hasn't been ruled out.)
~Candy cigarettes would be stockpiled in the Oval Office.
~Every overseas trip would be extended by at least one day for sightseeing.
~Related, there would be a new show on the Travel Channel: Packing with the President. (It's like Samantha Brown meets Andrew Zimmern,
but cooler, cuz it's me!)

Needless to say, it would be fun to be president! You know, without all that responsibility of running the country and stuff.

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