Thursday, September 22, 2011

Fear Conquering!

Well, I can cross one thing off my 30 by 30 list (halfway, anyway!).
I went ziplining 40 feet about the ground. At the Ecotarium in Worcester, they have a treetop walkway that ends with a zipline.
Here I am, already to go! I've got my harness and helmet, and I'm dressed like a watermelon, so this should be great!
This is it! Climbing down a ladder onto one of the little wobbly bridges. They would swing and wobble the whole time. Thank God only one person was allowed on a bridge at a time! As it was, if someone on the bridge bounced or swung it, the treetop platforms would wobble.
After crossing the bridges and looking for birds, we made out way to the zipline. My best friend Chrissy went first, and let out a scream that made me rethink this whole idea. The picture above is me really rethinking the whole "conquering a fear" thing after seeing the height. It took about 10-15 minutes to convince myself to do it. The guy even offered to push me off! I finally went for it, mostly because I had already told all of Facebook I'd be doing it and didn't want to tell everyone I chickened out. So I got in the little chair.
I sat in the chair for a few minutes trying not to back out. The guy promised me he'd let me down nice and slow, unlike Chrissy's turn. And he did! I even kept my eyes open while I was going!
It was at this point that I realized I should have asked to go faster at the end. This part was not a big drop, more of an even keel, so going slow was kinda like riding an escalator. But I did it! WOOOO HOOOOO!

Miscarriage

At 3am I woke up from a dream....or a nightmare, rather.

I was in a hospital room (which looked more like a doctor's office). I was pregnant and in labor. The only other person in the room was my brother. He was sitting in a chair against the wall, texting on his cellphone to avoid the awkwardness of being in the room with his laboring sister.

A nurse came in because the baby's heart rate was doing weird things, so she attached a scalp monitor, and told me to just relax. I called my mom and got up, started walking around.

Suddenly the monitor started beeping, the baby's heart rate dropped, dropped, dropped to zero and blood started flowing out from me. A nurse came in, telling me to get back into bed and I hung up with my mom, who came into the room at that moment.

I had a miscarriage during labor because I didn't listen. I stood up when I shouldn't have and my baby died because of it.

Is this a crazy dream brought on by the various events of the past day? Or is there something more? Is it spiritual? And if so, what's it mean? I get the analogy, don't get me wrong, but if its spiritual, what does the baby represent? And why didn't I have a husband in this dream???

It was such a realistic dream. When I jolted awake, I threw back the covers to make sure I wasn't bleeding! To add to the surrealism, as I laid back down, trying to simultaneously fall asleep and figure out the meaning, the computer screen in the other room randomly came on, casting my room in a pale blue hue.

This was one of the strangest dreams I've had. And it had a weird feeling to it, like it was more than just a dream, but I don't know. I guess I'm just going to have to pray about it for a while and see what God reveals.

Have you ever had a crazy, crazy dream that left you awake and wondering?

Sunday, September 4, 2011

30 by 30!

Well, I figured I should make this post before I check something off the list tomorrow! This is my list of everything I want to do before I turn thirty in just over 5 years. And can I just say, its really weird that I'm gonna be 30 in 5 years!!!! Craziness! My list actually has 38 things, because I couldn't narrow it down enough, so the extras are bonus! As I complete things, I'll post about them and cross it out on the 30 by 30 page above :) What's on your bucket list?

TRAVEL

  • Visit all 7 continents
  • Visit the North Pole
  • Walk in Jesus’ footsteps
  • Go scuba diving
  • See the Northern Lights
  • Live abroad
  • Dance in Spain
  • Visit every Disney Park
  • Take a trip with no luggage
  • Heads Carolina, Tails California (Just drive for a day or so before looking at a map)
  • Take a cross country road trip
  • Visit a volcano
  • Hike the Grand Canyon
  • Go to ComiCon


HAPPINESS

  • Be part of a flash mob
  • Watch the sunset til it turns to stars til it turns to sunrise, in the middle of nowhere
  • See a show on Broadway
  • Shower under a waterfall
  • See a meteor shower
  • Say yes to something completely spontaneous
  • See a solar eclipse


SERIOUS

  • Reach Goal Weight
  • Pay off all my debt
  • Change the world


SKILLS

  • Do a kick up
  • Learn to drive stick
  • Take a cooking class from a pro
  • Learn a language


CHALLENGES

  • Polar Plunge
  • Do a 365 Photography Project
  • Read the whole Bible in 90 days, then in 30.
  • Coal Walk
  • Climb Kilimanjaro for slavery


MISCELLANEOUS

  • Conquer a fear
  • Write a book
  • Organize something really big (event)
  • Shoot a gun
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