Thursday, September 22, 2011

Miscarriage

At 3am I woke up from a dream....or a nightmare, rather.

I was in a hospital room (which looked more like a doctor's office). I was pregnant and in labor. The only other person in the room was my brother. He was sitting in a chair against the wall, texting on his cellphone to avoid the awkwardness of being in the room with his laboring sister.

A nurse came in because the baby's heart rate was doing weird things, so she attached a scalp monitor, and told me to just relax. I called my mom and got up, started walking around.

Suddenly the monitor started beeping, the baby's heart rate dropped, dropped, dropped to zero and blood started flowing out from me. A nurse came in, telling me to get back into bed and I hung up with my mom, who came into the room at that moment.

I had a miscarriage during labor because I didn't listen. I stood up when I shouldn't have and my baby died because of it.

Is this a crazy dream brought on by the various events of the past day? Or is there something more? Is it spiritual? And if so, what's it mean? I get the analogy, don't get me wrong, but if its spiritual, what does the baby represent? And why didn't I have a husband in this dream???

It was such a realistic dream. When I jolted awake, I threw back the covers to make sure I wasn't bleeding! To add to the surrealism, as I laid back down, trying to simultaneously fall asleep and figure out the meaning, the computer screen in the other room randomly came on, casting my room in a pale blue hue.

This was one of the strangest dreams I've had. And it had a weird feeling to it, like it was more than just a dream, but I don't know. I guess I'm just going to have to pray about it for a while and see what God reveals.

Have you ever had a crazy, crazy dream that left you awake and wondering?

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