So there I was, sitting at the drive-in, watching the new Robin Hood movie wondering what I was doing there; so not my type of movie! But the drive-in's always fun, so I went. Sat through all the killing and whatnot. Well, then they get to the scene in Nottingham where the bad guys lock all the townspeople in one building (after senseless killing and beating) and set it on fire while Lady Marion is almost being raped by some bad guy. When they started lighting the fire under the townspeople, I first had the thought like, "Wow, they really used to do this back then. How can people be so heartless?" Then immediately I had the thought, "They STILL do this. Christians all over the world are being pillaged and raped and beaten and burned for doing nothing wrong." It was like, too much for me to handle. I felt sick. I closed my eyes and hid under my blanket for a minute, but that new reality was too much to turn away from. I had to keep watching. I found myself feeling like I was in Marion's shoes. These were the people she loved. The people she did everything for. She was locked in a building away from them, hearing their screams. So she did whatever she had to do. She pulled out the hidden dagger she had and killed the man trying to rape her. Then, with the help of orphans, escaped that building and pulled the rest of her friends-her family- out of the burning building, before starting a new life with the kids who everyone else forgot. I found myself praying, "God, am I supposed to be like Lady Marion? I feel this tug in my heart to go, to help, but how?? I'm not brave enough to be Lady Marion. I'm not whatever enough to be Lady Marion." And I think of Amy Carmichael and so many others who just responded to the call and asked God to help with the rest.
So Lord, here I am. I'm not brave enough. I'm not strong enough. I don't have enough faith. I don't have any answers. I don't know what I'm doing. But I have a willing heart. Mold me into your Lady Marion, someone who sees the need and responds, no matter the personal cost. Show me Your way, Your plan for all this. Take this crazy jumble of ideas and dreams and fill it with Your energy so it all amounts to something. Make me what you need me to be. And Lord, if its not too much to ask, a Robin Hood to help me out would be pretty nice, too ;)