Wednesday, March 20, 2013

When I Get Old

Now, when I get old, I plan to be like these people. Specifically, the lady second to last with the little smirk like, "I have no idea what I'm doing, but we'll just pretend...I am so uncoordinated...why is no one else laughing at this ridiculous exercise?!" I plan to be active and healthy and scooting around town keeping busy and helping others.

But if by some chance I end up in a nursing home, I have my care plan all ready. See, I work in a nursing home. And after spending the past two weeks on the dementia units, I know what I want when I get old.

  • If my pills have to be crushed, I want them in ice cream. 
  • Speaking of which, I want ice cream for dessert at least once a day.
  • Also, if I'm pretty far gone mentally and age-wise, I don't need vitamins every day. Only give me the essential meds.
  • I want to sleep til 10am. I'll take my breakfast in bed, please.
  • I want a DVD player fully stocked with Gilmore Girls and Doctor Who playing at all times.
  • Play the "bedtime" playlist on my iPod every night.
  • I don't want showers. I want baths. In those nice whirlpools that are hardly used. I don't like showers now, why would I like them when I'm old?
  • Two words: Fuzzy Socks.
  • Keep my stuffed animal with me when I'm in bed.
  • Also, I like lots of fluffy pillows around me in bed. Key word, fluffy.
  • I want a Coke at least once a day. Real Coke, not "cola" or "pepsi". With ice.
  • My wheelchair should be pink, with sparkly stuff on the wheels.
  • Keep my books around to keep my mind busy. If I can't read for myself, please get me audio books, or better yet, a live person to read to me. 
  • If it comes to it, I want to be on hospice. The aide can read to me after she gets me dressed.
  • I MUST have my glasses. I'm blind as a bat without them, and after wearing them since fifth grade, their kinda an extension of my face. Even if I am actually blind, I'll probably freak out without them.
  • Don't make me eat veggies if I don't wanna. I'm old, who cares if I finish my veggies?!
  • Keep my nails painted, even my toes. Now it's always chipping, but I love the look.
  • If I'm able, I want to do crafts often. Keep me well stocked.
  • I love pictures. I want a shelf for all my scrapbooks.
  • I want to smell good. Use pretty body sprays and lotions that I like. 
  • Take me to church sometimes. Or at least play some good worship music.
  • Take me outside when it's nice out.
  • I like blankets (unless it's hot). I've got some favorite memento blankets. Keep them on hand.
  • I like to be silly. Sometimes, put my pink wig on (and/or a boa) so I can have fun.
So that's the beginning of my list. How about you? Anything you want when you get old?


  1. oh my word you are hilarious! please be a blogger best friend haha:)

    fellow Exodus Road blogger here,

    1. Haha thanks Rachel! Always happy to make new friends :) Looks like we have a few common interests. Thanks for stopping by!

      (By the way, hope this doesn't come of creepy, but I went through a few of your posts. LOVE the color of your kitchen!!)


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