Sunday, September 16, 2012

God, It's Not Fair

This is post is part of Compassion's Blogging Month

Hi God. It's me. I've been putting this post off all week. This week's Compassion Assignment. One of few the reasons I'm doing it now is because I challenged myself to complete the whole Compassion Blogging Month, and the new assignment comes out tomorrow. I could say that I've been busy; I worked all week. I could say I was tired; I've been exhausted all week. I could say I was distracted. Those are all true, but  I don't think any of those things is the real reason for my delay.

I think the real reason is You. The assignment is to write You a letter about sponsorship. But what on earth do I tell You about it that You don't already know? Praying for the kids is great, but to do that for a whole letter seems like a Wish List of sorts...not that praying for kids is bad. I just want this to be more than "And bless this one and that one and give us this...."

I think one of the main reasons I've struggled is because when I read the assignment, the first sentence in my head was, "But God, it's not fair!" Because it's not.

It's not fair that these innocent, loving, deserving children are without so many basic needs when I and the people I love have so much. I mean, really. I heard today about a woman who's had 12 surgeries to make her breasts a size M. We don't even know what to do with all our money, and there's kids sick, and starving, and homeless all over the world! This issue, as with human trafficking just make me want to scream, "GOD, IT'S NOT FAIR!" while having a tantrum like a two-year-old.

Because it's not fair that I am sitting here with more electronics than I can count. With dozens of outfits in my closet, yet I complained this morning that I have nothing to wear. With so much food in my fridge and cabinets that it goes bad before I can eat it all. With instant access to medicine and treatment for any kind of ailment. With 4 Bibles on my shelf and endless information at my fingertips. With a safe, warm, comfortable place to live and sleep.

Yet, while I'm sitting here, there's a little boy watching his mother waste away from disease. There's a little girl being forced into prostitution. There's a mother mixing dirt into her child's food to help his belly feel full. There's a brother and sister working for their family's income, instead of going to school. There's a young man looking for hope and seeing only darkness. God, it's not fair.

Where's the line that decides who gets abundance and who goes without? What did I ever do to get in the abundance line, while those kids didn't? And if I can't stand it, how do You? When You hear their cries, see them in trouble, how can You not step in and save them from it? I suppose that's why You're God and I'm not. (Which is good, because I would never be able to handle the stress of running the universe!)

Lord, I know You're a just God. I know You work all things for Your good. And I know that this is a fallen world, but that just doesn't seem like a good enough reason for all the injustice around us. The one hope I have in this confusion of unfairness is that I know You have a habit of using the willing to change the world. And I want to help. Sign me up. I want to fix it. I want the world to be fair. It really irks me when people say "you can't save the world" because why can't I? I serve the One who created it, so why can't I save it? Obviously not on my own, but with Him I can...can't I?

Joseph did it. So did Esther. David. Moses. So why not me? True, right now I have no idea how to. I don't have the resources, or the training, or a full vision (yet), but that's never stopped You from using someone! So I start small. I change the way I shop. I change the way I live in and see the world. I sponsor a child. Maybe right now I'm not saving the entire world. But I'm saving the life of Nithish. Because of my sponsorship, he gets healthy food and water, clothes, school supplies, education and more. His life will be different. And maybe he goes on to do something amazing with his life. He uses the opportunities Compassion gave him and the education he receives to change his village. To make it a safe, happy, successful place. And right now I'm using my electronic blessings and social media to take a stand, to use my voice, so maybe a friend will step in to change a child's life, too. Then my World Saving Power has doubled. If it keeps going like that, pretty soon, I will save the world with You!

Is this why You let the world be unfair? To stir us to compassion, to have a passion to change the way things are? To get beyond our own lives and step into the hurt of someone else's? I wish the world was fair. I wish I didn't know the kind of horrors that happen in this world. But, at the same time, I thank You for opening my eyes to them. For giving me that passion to want to see change in the world and for showing me step by step how to make it happen. Lord, for all the tears and sleepless nights I've had (and am sure to continue having) over these issues, I pray that You would show up and show off to eradicate these nightmares from our world. Because without Your presence, it's all for nothing. My actions will only result in making me sick and tired.

But with You....with You, I can save the world.

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