Thursday, October 1, 2009

I'd Like to Return This Baby

I came across this video clip today and thought I'd just share my thoughts and see if anyone says anything :)

First off, these are just my thoughts. I don't know anything more about this family or situation than what the video tells us. It seems like this family adopted Baby D and after roughly 6 months with him, decided that they were not bonding and looked into finding a new family for him. Can I just say, a baby is not a puppy?? You're not supposed to bring it back if its not working out! When you adopt a baby, you become their family, their parents. Thats permanent. You are supposed to treat them the same as if you were their biological parent. You don't give birth to a child and then return them to the hospital after 6 months! Parenthood and Adoption are forever. Period. (Of course, this is not including those crazy situations where the parents are abusive. I'm talking about parents who are normal, loving people).

And thats probably what most people are thinking, but beyond just that. Sometimes it takes a while to bond with a child, even a biological child. It happens. But you don't just give up. You spend time and energy taking care of the child and doing everything in your power to build a relationship. And if you adopt a child, especially if the child is from a different country or a bad situation, its going to take a while to bond. In this video, Baby D was about a year old when he came to live with this family. In his young life he had been abused, neglected and left on the side of the road. He has spent his whole life maybe trying to bond with people who only hurt and abandoned him. It will take a while to adjust to a new, loving family who is not going to leave. A few months is really not a long time.

Again, I know nothing about this family. I know they mentioned counseling or therapy of some sort, and I applaud them for that. And I do think its great that they did their best to find a great family for Baby D. I just don't fully agree with the choice to "give him back". What does that say to the other kids in the family? That mommy and daddy might decide to give you away? I don't know....it just all seems weird to me. Any thoughts?

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