Last night, I went to bed early. I've been exhausted lately, and the past week or so has been crazy at work. So it was lights out just after 9:30p and I was on my way to dream land...except at 9:45 I heard something.
Our dog Jack barked, but it wasn't his usual bark. Then I heard banging, and yelling, and Jack yelping, and squealing. I ran upstairs to see what was going on and found the kitchen in chaos. My dad was looking around for something, my mom was trying to close the sliding door, and they were both yelling. I looked down and saw a raccoon IN the door, my mom pinning it in place, trying to keep it from getting into the house. My mom yells at me, "This isn't Jack! It's a raccoon!" (because I obviously couldn't tell that) and is yelling at my dad to get a bucket, but he's trying to deal with Jack.
So I grab the recycling bucket next to the door and put it over the raccoon, who is half way in the house, while my mom keeps holding the door. My dad finally caught the dog, who had been attacked and bit by this raccoon while he was outside for his last pee break before bed, and ran upstairs to put him in his crate and get my brothers. (By the way, Sam, I've taken to calling you my brother lately instead of "the guy who lives in our attic." It's basically true anyways, and easier than explaining.)
So the boys and Leah all come down, I'm holding a bucket over a raccoon who has half his body in our house and is squealing and scratching and thrashing. My mom is too nervous to open the door to get him out of the house, thinking he might flip himself around into the house and bite or scratch us. My brothers are offering to kill it with a giant stick they just happened to have with them.
Being the voice of reason, I sent my brother (blood brother, Miah) to put on boots, then he took over holding the door for my mom. Mom went to examine the dog, while Miah and I took a few seconds to regroup and plan (while everyone behind us is yelling "helpful" things).
We took a three count, Miah slid open the door, I threw the raccoon and barrel up, out, and to the right (to make sure it wouldn't get caught on the lip of the door), and Miah slammed the door closed again. And locked it, per our mother's request. Just in case the raccoon knows how to open slider doors, I guess. Then the raccoon earned his new name: Mr Grey. We nearly killed him in the door, and he came right back trying to get in for more. And he was definitely injured, because he was limping around, and there was blood on our door where we had pinned him. This is how far into our house his front half was:
We called Animal Control, but they were closed, so we called the police who sent two squad cars. Called the vet and my mom took him over to the emergency clinic to get checked out. We spent the next hour watching Mr Grey root through the trash on our porch, crawl into the barrel to chew on his tail, go wander in the snow, and come back to try to break into the house and start all over.
The police just stood around for a few minutes, then got back into the cars and one waited for the on call Animal Control guy to show. I guess raccoons have been a big problem lately, even attacking a police officer recently who had just stepped out of his squad car.
All the trash is because it was in the recycling bucket when I trapped him in it. I just tossed the whole thing out the door to get him out.
For an HOUR this animal limped around our yard, making circles around the porch. Then we watched him shimmy up a pole, attack the bird feeder, play with the bell, climb down the railing, hide under Sam's car, and disappear. The Animal Control guy showed up minutes later, and Mr Grey wasn't found. He was on our porch for an hour, and then he disappeared less than five minutes before the AC guy showed up.
Jack went to the vet, got his injuries checked out and cleaned. He's got a bite on each hind leg, and a little scratch on his nose. He's a drugged little guy this morning, since they had to sedate him last night to clean him up, and now he's on pain meds. He's back at the vet right now getting a rabies booster, and he has to be on quarantine for 45 days, since the raccoon wasn't caught so we don't know if it had rabies.
Mr Grey may look cute, but don't be fooled. He's a monster.