Don't Be a Stupid Emotional Idiot

Wanna know what the worst possible advice is? I guarantee someone has given it to you at some point in your life. You may have even advised someone else with this line. What is it?

[source]

"Follow your heart" 

We hear this All. The. Time. 

I've always hated this saying, even though at first glance it sounds nice. Then today, Lady Antebellum got their song Compass stuck in my head. Which makes me mad, because the only lyrics I know are "So let your heart sweetheart be your compass when you're lost and you should follow it wherever it may go" and I hate this sentiment! 

[source]

Following your heart is how you make stupid decisions. For example, if I had listened to my heart when I woke up this morning, I would have shut off my alarm and slept til 1pm. Then I would have blown off work and all responsibility, spent my bill money on a plane ticket to London, and stalked Benedict Cumberbatch until he married me. Finally, we would have a cumberbatch of adorable British babies, and hang out with all The Doctors and Martin Freeman and live happily ever after (Moffat's not allowed near us).

Obviously, my heart is not the reason I am a well-adjusted adult.

Here's the truth:

[photo source. Quotation mine.]

Sorry to break it to you, but your heart is stupid. The Bible calls it "deceitful above all things and desperately sick" (Jeremiah 17:9). It also says to "guard your heart", not to follow it (Proverbs 4:23). And why do you think David was always asking for a pure heart? Because our hearts are messed up. Left to their own devices, our hearts will lead us to short-term comfort, bad decisions, and heartache.

Yes, our hearts are important. They hold our dreams, our emotions, our passions. Ultimately, our hearts are who we are. We shouldn't completely ignore what our heart is telling us. But because the heart is the seat of our emotions and dreams, they can be fickle, which leads to stupid decisions. God knew this about us, so gave us a brain and the Holy Spirit to help make the right choices. When we add these two into the mix, we are able to wisely follow the dreams in our heart. 

For example, I am now saving and planning for a trip to London where I can "accidentally" run into Benny, and researching the UKs laws regarding stalking so I don't end up in prison. 

So do me a favor and stop saying this? Maybe say, "Follow the Spirit", or even, "Follow your dreams", but stop following your heart. Don't be a stupid emotional idiot. Be a brilliant rational boss.

What did your heart tell you today? What should we say instead of "Follow your dreams"? 

"Visioneering"

I just finished Visioneering: God's Blueprint for Developing and Maintaining Personal Vision, by Andy Stanley and I am in love with this book! Especially because it fits right in with what my pastor has been teaching over the past few months.

Using the story of Nehemiah, Stanley walks the reader through the process of birthing a vision, from conception to finalized dream. He outlines 20 "Building Blocks" throughout the book, balancing examples from Nehemiah with real-life case studies. Every step of Visioneering is covered in this book, from "Why should I have a vision?" to "Where do I start?" and "How do I stand against these haters" and more. This book is equal parts inspiration and how-to manual. Stanley encourages you to grab hold of the vision for your life and gives you the tools to do so. Each chapter ends with a "Visioneering Project" to put into action the principles of that chapter, processing emotions and practicalities to produce a well-rounded vision.

Whether you have a specific vision already, or you want something more from life, you need to read this book. Especially if you're a fan of books like Jon Acuff's START. Add this to the Christmas list for all Dreamers and Builders in your life!

Highly Recommended
5/5 Stars

I received this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

When Did I Become a Grown-Up??

[source]

Okay, so I know I'm technically a grown-up. I know I lead a ministry, pay taxes, own a car, and pay bills and things. I know when I go to work people's lives literally depend on me. But still. When did I become a real grown-up?

I mean, I'm just starting to accept the fact that people I went to school with are married with kids. That younger classmates now have multiple children. Meanwhile, I spent this past Sunday with my best friends buying and wearing wigs, playing with empty B.B. guns, and yelling at the TV while eating grilled cheese. (And it was AWESOME, by the way. I was the pirate Captain Calliope Blackwater)

[Photo Cred: Kathryn]

(Don't mind my gums...I have no idea what I was doing with my mouth...growling, maybe?)

Then today I go to a meeting and learn that someone I was in youth group with just wrote a book. His second book. He's also an assistant professor, has been in Forbes and Bloomberg's BusinessWeek, and speaks around the country (including "little" events like SXSW and TEDx).

Guys, I have a picture of this dude when his hair was Highlighter Yellow. Somewhere in my house is a beautiful poem he wrote...about the need to pee. I distinctly remember a youth group ride in the back of a camper, singing songs, then listening to him quote said pee poem before talking about some deep thing I didn't understand. And now he's a big fancy business man, inspiring others with his presentations on leadership and innovation.

I know he's a few years older than I am, but seriously? How am I old enough to have peers doing stuff like that? Anyways, congrats on your new book! Now I'm off to plan a big world-takeover of my own....from my blanket fort (NOT to be confused with a pillow fort. Don't be silly. A blanket fort is much more serious.)

Start Experiment

[source]

(Guys, I have a .gif in my post. I feel all special and stuff!)

But seriously, I'm going on an adventure with Jon Acuff! And I'm not even leaving my house! A few weeks ago, Jon posted a short-lived invitation looking for people to go on a 24 day adventure, no questions asked. Of course, I applied, and thought I wasn't chosen until I got my email yesterday inviting me to the super secret Facebook group for our adventure. 

Over 2,500 of us answered the call for adventurers and will be spending 24 days encouraging and challenging each other as we each risk something. That something will be unique to each of us, something that will help us get closer to our dreams. 

I had a hard time deciding what to pick. Originally I had decided "kick butt at the gym and in the kitchen", but since I've already been doing that, it felt pretty lame to make that my risk. But after journalling and praying a little bit, I found my risk. The details are a secret for right now, but suffice it to say that I will risk by taking time out of my busiest month of the year to work on a HUGE project that I'm really excited about. It combines two of my biggest passions seamlessly and is something bigger than me. I may will need some of you to help me make it happen. 

But I'm excited. Most of you know how much I love Jon Acuff's stuff, and to be a part of this experiment is super awesome. Even though I know I will be exhausted this month anyways, I am determined to spend some time on this project to see what God does in and through me with it.

Also, I may be in need of a white board.

Do you have any adventures and risk on the horizon? Please share!

Grieving the Spirit

I have a wall next to my bed that I refer to as my "Inspiration Wall". It's full of magazine clippings and post-its with inspiring quotes (and a few pictures). When I need a boost, I look at the wall and find the one that speaks to me that day. As I passed by yesterday, I noticed this one from Francis Chan's Forgotten God:

It's a powerful thought from a powerful book. Then this morning I was reading Ephesians chapter 4 when I came to verse thirty: "Do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live."

How often do we really think about if our actions are causing sorrow or joy to the Spirit of God? If you are saved, His Spirit is in you. Are your actions making that clear? Or do your actions cause the Holy Spirit of God, living inside you, to grieve?

It's a question that can stop you in your tracks. And it's a question that leads to others.

What actions in my life bring sorrow to the Holy Spirit?
Does a lack of action cause the Spirit to grieve?
How can I live in a way that brings the Spirit of God joy?

This is a thought I am hoping to carry into the rest of the week with me, to ask myself at various times, "Am I causing sorrow to the Holy Spirit? Am I behaving like His chosen dwelling?" I pray that the answer will be yes.

March is Here!

I started this month with such high hopes! I set my goals for the month, made a new workout plan, I was really excited. Except this sinus cold thing will NOT go away! We're on day eight and I still feel miserable. Not quite as bad as last week, but still not good. Just want to sleep the week away. So nothing is getting done, and my gym clothes are just sitting there all sad because I can't use them. I've been pushing myself to go to work, but I did get cancelled yesterday, which was fortunate because I really felt run down yesterday. So since I'm not really doing much, I don't have much to share. I bought myself this fancy new Macbook I'm writing on, but I think that's the most exciting thing all week! Oh! And I got chosen to be on the Launch Team for Jon Acuff's new book Start. Pretty excited for that.

But you didn't come to see me ramble on in my sickness. You want something entertaining or meaningful (I'm assuming). Here's what I've got. Today we did our last Kids Night on Elijah (we've been studying him for the past 3 weeks). Tonight we talked about when he ran from Jezebel after the showdown on Mount Carmel. You can find the story in 1 Kings 19. If you're not familiar with it, Jezebel has wanted to kill Elijah for over 3 years. He comes to town, has a massive showdown on top of a mountain between his God Yahweh, and their god Baal. In the end, Baal's prophets are unable to rouse their god to accept their sacrifice, no matter how hard they try. Elijah utters a simple prayer, and God sends fire to consume not only the sacrifice, but the entire water-soaked altar as well. After winning the "My God is bigger than your god" battle, Elijah kills all 450 of Baal's prophets, which prompts Jezebel to send a messenger to him stating her intentions to kill him. Elijah freaks out and runs away. Like, really really far away. Over 100 miles away to a desert.

So Elijah the prophet, who has been crazy courageous and has performed amazing miracles, is now hiding in the desert, scared, feeling alone. The man who prayed and caused a drought, then prayed again and made it rain after 3.5 years, now prayed to die. He curled up under a tree and went to sleep. An angel wakes him up twice and feeds him a nice desert-cooked meal, then sends him on his way to Mount Horeb (aka Sinai). On the mountain, hiding in a cave, the Lord comes to Elijah and asks, "why are you here?" Elijah whines to God like a little kid might: I've been so good, telling everyone about you, and none of the other Israelites are following you. I'm the only one left and they're trying to kill me! God passes by the cave and there's a mighty wind, but God wasn't in the wind. There's a large earthquake, but God wasn't in the earthquake. There's a roaring fire, but God wasn't in the fire. Finally there's a small whisper. Some translations say a deafening silence.

Now, if you've grown up in church, you're going to tell me that God was in the whisper. But that's not what the Bible says. God's presence produced all that racket and the whisper, though he wasn't IN any of them. After all the noise, that sudden stillness brings Elijah out of the cave. I imagine that he was used to the "noise" of God. Think of all the miracles he did! Of course he knew God's presence when he saw it! It was the still quiet that seemed different and brought him out of his cave. God again asks him, "Why are you here?" and Elijah replies with the same whine.

I imagine this scene like a very tender father-son moment. Elijah's whining, digging his toe in the dirt, not looking at God. But the ever-sensitive Abba Father sees exactly what Elijah needs. He tenderly tells Elijah what to do, where to go, and gives him a helper, as well as reminding him that he's not alone; there are 7,000 other Israelites devoted to the Lord.

This passage makes me happy. It tells me it's okay to be a little whiney to God sometimes. It's okay to be moody and tired and want to give up on occasion. God understands us. He knows just what we need, and will meet us where we're at, even if we've run 100 miles away from where we should be. He'll send his presence in many ways until we turn to Him. He will provide the support we need to fulfill his promises.

So many times we hold Elijah up to an impossible standard, as the ultimate in Christian heroes, and this story gets left out. Yet this is one of the most important stories his life offers. Not many of us can relate to bringing a person back to life, but we can all relate to disappointment and feeling alone. If one of the mightiest prophets of all time had a dark moment, it's not so bad for us to have a dark moment, either. What matters is that we continue to trust in the Lord, and move on. We have to leave the cave and answer the question, "Why are you here?"

Verse of the Year: 2013

Finally had a chance to pick my verse of the year from church! And it's only February 6th...go me! I'm so happy with my verse(s); they couldn't be more perfect!

Background before I share the verses: Just today I was thinking about where my life is heading (and liking it!). That my ministry life has been shifting to a stronger focus on Children's Ministry and Missions (no big surprise). Just today I signed up as a blogger for an organization working to end human trafficking (more on that later), worked on a program for the kids, and did some work for the missions department. So I'm loving life and where I'm heading, excited for what God's got in store and what the vision of my leaders is.

So when I closed my eyes and picked a card from the bin after the first major staff meeting of the year, I picked the perfect one. Not only is it pink(ish), but the two verses are perfect for where my life is headed. The first one I read was Acts 10:35

In every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him.

Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not a fan of the ol' KJV. The "-eth"s always throw me off. I got the basic gist, and liked it right away, though. How much more perfect does it get for someone in missions?! But I wanted wording I could relate to, so I headed to BibleGateway. (If you don't know about BibleGateway, check it out! They have every version you can imagine, plus Bible studies and commentaries/concordances. They rock!) The easiest-to-understand was the NKJV, but I really like the Amplified.

But in every nation he who venerates and has a reverential fear for God, treating Him with worshipful obedience and living uprightly, is acceptable to Him and sure of being received and welcomed [by Him].

Yes!! Now the other half of my "background info" is that the major thing holding me back in a lot of ways is finances. I make enough to pay my bills, though it sometimes gets tight because I get cancelled for shifts on occasion. Added to this, I am not longer under my dad's insurance, so I need to buy my own, the lowest cost I'm eligible for is nearly $300 a month! Not cool. So when I flipped my card over, I was glad to see Psalm 23:1

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

Two verses, two perfect words for my life this year! Can't wait to see everything that's in store, and to share with you as it comes to pass! Do you have a verse (or two) for your year? What is it?

"Route 66"

I am SUPER late with this review (so sorry, Mr.Kandiah and publisher)!! But I am so glad I finally found it in my mess and read this book! For some reason, I expected it to be a teen Bible study, but that wasn't the case at all (although a teen could certainly read and understand the book). Route 66 is a deep, yet accessible, overview of the entire Bible that enables the reader to learn how to truly study the Bible. It is designed to be an 8-week study, complete with journaling prompts and group discussion guides. It even includes a plan to read the entire Bible during the 8-week course.

Route 66 is very well written and researched, with a great balance of personal narrative and theology to guide the reader into a deeper understanding of the Bible. My favorite section was Week Two, on the Books of the Law. So many times we rush through these books, thinking they largely don't apply to us today, but the author explains why that's not true and how to get the most from the Books of Law.

I highly recommend this book to anyone looking to study the Bible, and hope to find a group to work though the study with. 

5/5 Stars

I received this book from Monarch Books through the LibraryThing Early Reviewer Program in exchange for an honest review. 

New Year, New Goals

I realized that we're nine days into this new year, but I haven't shared anything about my New Year's goals! So let's share a little bit. I don't like to make resolutions because I feel like they always get broken. I mean, it's basically expected for you to not complete your resolutions. So I like goals better. Preferably goals that can be measured and have steps to get there.

This picture is from December when I was making my 2013 plan. My wrist was kinda sore from working out and stuff, so I was wearing the brace. I got a lot most of the "how-to" for my plan from this post (disclaimer: I don't agree with or condone the language/lifestyle represented in this blog, but there's also some great goal organization tips!) Now, if you don't want to read that whole thing (or did read it and got completely confused, like I did the first two times), let me describe how I planned my 2013! Note: I changed some of the things from Nicole's blog to better suit me.

First I sat down to reflect. Actually, I did this twice. This whole process of prepping for 2013 took me several sittings because I didn't want to rush into it. So I sat down and thought about my 2012. What were the highlights? What did I accomplish? Where did I fail? I used my blog and Facebook albums to remind me of some things I almost forgot about. And I wrote it all down. I took up a whole sheet of paper with awesome things! 

The post I was using as a guide uses step two to choose a word or phrase to motivate your year. I skipped this. Mainly because I couldn't settle on something! The closest I can come, even still, is "focus". Or "me". Or "passion". See, I can't decide! So I skipped this one.

Then, with the past in the past, I started looking to the future. I looked at my goals from 2012 to see if I wanted/needed to carry any over to 2013. Things like "reach goal weight" and "become debt free" fall into this category. But, before actually writing a list of goals, I made a list of "Life Buckets", or categories. These are the areas of your life that make up who you are, all the important bits. I ended up with 8 categories, such as "External Ashley", "Internal Ashley", "Relationships",  and "Adventure". 

Once you have your categories, make three goals for the year in each one. For example, under my Adventure category, my three year-long goals are 1) Try one new, slightly uncomfortable thing per month 2) Leave the country twice and 3) Learn Spanish. These are big goals, but that's what you want here! Something big but achievable in a year. If you have 8 categories as I do, you should have 24 goals. (I actually have two categories with an extra goal each...shh! don't tell!)

So how are you possibly going to achieve all 24+ of these goals?! Easy. At the beginning of each month (say, on the first?) you will sit down with your list and write one action step for each goal that you will accomplish that month. Which means you will have 24+ small action steps (which are basically baby goals) to do each month. Now, these won't always be done. In which case, you carry some over. But having them on paper is inspiring and motivational! I can't wait to cross things off my list and get closer to meeting these goals!! 

Finally, because I like things pretty, I made these goals pretty! I put my categories and goals on pretty paper, all scrapbook like, to hang up where I can see it every day to help motivate me. At the beginning of the month, I used my journal to record my action steps for the month. I even had space at the bottom of the page, so I will draw a smiley face for everything I complete on my list. Is it weird that that's a lot of motivation for me?! 

We're nine days into the year, and so far my new goal system is going great! I think I am actively working on half of my action steps at this time, so it must be working! To recap this: 8 Categories, with three goals each. Each goal gets an action step every month to get you closer to that goal. Easy Peasy. Good luck! 

Did you set goals for the year? How are you working towards them? What motivates you to keep going towards them?

Closing the Biggest Chapter of my Life (Thus Far)

Today was a bittersweet day. It's the day I closed the largest chapter in the Book of Ashley. It's the longest chapter, the most impacting chapter. It's the chapter that sets the foundation for the rest of the book. As with any good book, it's a chapter I'll revisit frequently, but it's over.

What is this chapter? It's the Youth Group chapter. Tonight was my last night as a youth leader.  I have been a Firewalker for exactly half of my life (thirteen entire years). Every Friday night since just before I turned 13, I've been at youth group. It's the place that has shaped me more than anything else. I would not be who I am, doing what I do, if it hadn't been for youth group. It's where I built a true relationship with God, where I learned about Him and His Word, how to live for Him. It's how I took my first missions trip that started my love of missions. It's the place that took me outside of myself and my family, to build relationships with people different than me, yet united for one thing. It's where I learned how to do ministry. It's been the single biggest, longest running part of my life, and it's ended. While I will always be a Firewalker at heart, I am no longer a youth leader (formally, anyways. I hope they still see me as a leader in their lives). It's a sad night.

(I got my own CakeWreck!! yay!)

But the next chapter is starting. It's a time of transition, of rediscovery, of feeling just a bit lost. What does the rest of the world do on Friday nights?! I don't even know. To give you a little perspective, the last time I had Friday nights free, Boy Meets World was airing new episodes on TGIF every Friday night. Seriously.  I've decided to take the next several weeks to rest and do things that make me happy or build me up- I'm not allowing myself to just sit on the couch with Pinterest and TV! I'm going to DO stuff that is good for me and see what God reveals. Because while I plan to pray and read the Word during this time, I also believe that God speaks to us in many other ways. I'm excited to see what He has for me in this next chapter. If the last chapter was the one that sets the stage for the rest of the story, this chapter coming will be the one where everything changes and gets rearranged. It's exciting and a bit scary. But then, plot twists always are!

I know that some of you who weren't at youth group tonight are probably wondering why I'm leaving, so let me share :) Watching other leaders say their goodbyes always made me think "that'll never be me...until I have babies or something...maybe", so this is seems a little anticlimactic!

About two months ago, our Youth Minister told the team that we were going to take a month to step back and seek God, make sure that we weren't just doing things because we've always been doing them. He told us to really pray and make sure that God still wanted us to be there. Almost immediately, I felt like it was time for me to leave, but I ignored it. I love youth ministry and couldn't imagine not being in youth group (I still can't fully comprehend it). So I did pray about it, but usually while I was doing something else. I was sorta running from God. One thing I've learned from the Bible is that if God wants you to do something, He will get your attention! I mean, Saul/Paul was blinded, Jacob wrestled with God, and Jonah was eaten by a freakin' fish! Thankfully, He didn't go to such extremes to make sure I went where He wanted. Instead, He used a call from my Pastor to confirm everything I'd been struggling with in making this decision.

So I'm leaving youth group.  I still love these teens like crazy, and still want to be a part of their lives, that hasn't changed. But I believe God has something else for me. Something He's designed me for, something that is going to stretch and grow and change me (and others) for the better. I'm not completely sure what it is yet, but I know I can't find it if my time is consumed with other things. So as I mentioned, the next several weeks will be Ashley-time, and then I don't know what's coming. I will be focusing my ministry time on the Children's Ministry and on the Missions Ministry, and really seeking God about what comes next.

This next chapter of my life is going to involve lots of change and hopefully growth, both of which can be disturbing and painful at times, but I'm excited. Without some disturbance, we can't grow, and without growth, we die. I want to live the exciting, vibrant life God imagined for me, that's better than the best story I can write on my own. So I'm going with His plot and we'll see where it ends up! The best stories are always the ones where you don't see the ending coming, and it's better than anything you could dream up on your own.

So to end this long post, let me say a humongous THANK YOU for all the love and messages you Firewalkers sent me tonight. I loved them and I love you guys. I am always here for you. Thank you to the awesome people I've served with these many many years. Its been a blessing serving with you, and I'm just down the hall if you need anything. And thank you to all the leaders who came before me, who led me, who spoke into my life and helped me become who I am today. This has been a great chapter and while it's over, there's still an entire book left to live!

Happy, Free, Confused, and Lonely in the Best Way

I was just catching myself up on blog-reading (I had more than 900 unread posts after all my trips...I'm down to 469) and then thought, I'm tired. After this one, I'm going to bed. But then I looked at the clock and it was only 6:23, so I couldn't do that. That's when I remembered it's NaBloWriMo and I didn't write anything today! With my most recent trip, I'm missing some days, but I'll try to make them up. At least, I'll try not to miss more. Since I haven't decided yet how to blog about my two adventures, tonight's post has nothing (well, very little) to do with them! So, here's my post!

 I feel like this is gonna be a big year for me. Is that pretentious to say? There's no real reason for saying it, but I just feel like there's going to be some big changes and things that God is going to set into motion. And I'm excited! But also nervous and a little scared. Really, I have no idea what's coming. I've felt for a long time, and think I've mentioned here before, that I feel like I'm supposed to do something big with my life. I have many passions: nursing, kids ministry, youth ministry, missions, Compassion, justice ministry, abolition, adoption...I could keep going. But I think I'm starting to feel how God's leading me to refine these passions and callings, and starting to see how all my varied interests may actually fit together into one God-ordained-and-planned Ashley Future.

Its an exciting time, but also a little sad, as it may mean ending (or at least stepping back a bit from) some things I love, in order to move into the next chapter God has for me. But, that's why I really need to spend some major time in prayer over this, and maybe you could, too? Sorry for the vagueness, but until God gives me clear direction, I'm not sharing any of it with the world! Have you ever faced something similar? How'd it work out for you?

(P.S. Title is from Taylor Swift's new song "22", which I kinda love a lot this week! Also, the lonely part doesn't really apply....)

Humility vs. Fear

Today I've come to realize that any time I'm asked to take on a new leadership role, I react the same way (even if its something I'm expecting!)

I start by getting nervous. I want to ask the person, "Are you sure? You really want me?" I think there's no way I'm ready for that role. I think of all the people who would be better qualified than I am. I wonder when they'll realize they made a mistake. I wonder how big I'll screw up, and when. Meanwhile, however, I'm outwardly calm. I observe and learn what they teach me, and do my best in the role, giving it my all. 

Now, some might say it's humility. You know humility, that word you learn in Sunday school? Usually you learn it with verses like, "Pride goes before a fall" or "In humility consider others better than yourself"? It's a good lesson, but I think we get it confused. Because when I'm thinking all those things listed above, it's definitely NOT humility that's showing in my heart. It's fear. 

Fear that I'm not good enough. Fear that I'll mess it up, make a mistake. Fear that I don't really belong in that role that I'm dreaming of and will have to give it up. Fear that everyone will find me lacking. 

Fear comes from looking in. Humility comes from looking up. 

When you think of those figures who were truly humble (Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Mother Teresa,  Amy Carmichael, to name a few), they may have had similar thoughts, but they turned them to God. They trusted that they didn't have all the answers or skills, but that He did. Putting their trust in Him, putting His plan above their wants, that's humility. Doing your best, without expecting a reward, to allow someone else to be lifted high. 

So today, with this new role being offered, I'm going to try to face it with humility. I'm turning my fear over to God and letting Him show off. Rather than looking at myself and letting my fear get the best of me, I'm looking to Him and letting Him teach me what I need to learn to be the best version of Ashley I can be. How else can I be prepared for the big work He has for me to do? 

Today's AspiringAshley Aspiration? Humility.

Edit 10/7/12: In today's Sunday School class on Exodus, my Pastor briefly touched on humility, so I wanted to share what I gleaned from him. We were in Exodus chapter 4, where God is calling Moses, but he's resisting. He starts in the beginning of the chapter with a fear vs. humility issue, saying he's not good enough, not skilled enough, etc. God says, and I love the wording of this, "Go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say." (Exodus 4:12, emphasis mine). Not just, "I'll be with you", but "I'll be with your mouth"! How cool is that?! God cares about every detail! He'll take care of it!

But then Moses's fear beats out the humility and he doubts God's power. So God agrees to send Aaron with Moses to be the mouthpiece of God's deliverance  Moses settled for the Plan B. Plan A was His perfect will, Moses going before Pharaoh and freeing the Israelites. But because of Moses' doubt and settling for Plan B, now there's trouble. Now it's not the easy way of Plan A. Oh, Lord, may I seek and humble myself to Your Plan A for my life! Moses still did God's will, but he missed out on that first-best plan that would have been so much easier for him!

My Pastor defined humility this way: "Humility is authority under control". In this case, under control of the Holy Spirit. In our lives as Christ-followers, we are to be humble but balanced, so we don't let our humility lead us to doubt God. We need to know that there is no limit to what the God in us can do through us. (Pastor Najem, Oct. 2012)

Aspiring Ashley

Why Aspiring (because I hope the Ashley part is self-explanatory)? Well, I am aspiring to be and do so much in my life. There are the things I can explain: like I am aspiring to be a nurse, to make beautiful cakes, to be a good example, to try new things. Then there are the things that I yearn for in my spirit but can't really put into words for other people. The best I can do is to say that I want to follow Christ with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, wherever He might lead, without fear or hesitation. But see, that doesn't really take whats inside and express it very well. Oh well. So this blog is simply a place to write and grow and record what I'm learning and doing. Like I said in yesterdays post, I might record a day's events, or what I'm reading...I'm actually really excited for that part. I have a site where I review books (click here to see it) but one of my favorite things in this past year was when I lead a book study with my girls. There are some books I've been meaning to read, so look for some book discussions here soon. So, I guess that will be it for today. Thanks for stopping by and reading :)

**Ashley**