Fear Conquering!

Well, I can cross one thing off my 30 by 30 list (halfway, anyway!).

I went ziplining 40 feet about the ground. At the Ecotarium in Worcester, they have a treetop walkway that ends with a zipline.

Here I am, already to go! I've got my harness and helmet, and I'm dressed like a watermelon, so this should be great!

This is it! Climbing down a ladder onto one of the little wobbly bridges. They would swing and wobble the whole time. Thank God only one person was allowed on a bridge at a time! As it was, if someone on the bridge bounced or swung it, the treetop platforms would wobble.

After crossing the bridges and looking for birds, we made out way to the zipline. My best friend Chrissy went first, and let out a scream that made me rethink this whole idea. The picture above is me really rethinking the whole "conquering a fear" thing after seeing the height. It took about 10-15 minutes to convince myself to do it. The guy even offered to push me off! I finally went for it, mostly because I had already told all of Facebook I'd be doing it and didn't want to tell everyone I chickened out. So I got in the little chair.

I sat in the chair for a few minutes trying not to back out. The guy promised me he'd let me down nice and slow, unlike Chrissy's turn. And he did! I even kept my eyes open while I was going!

It was at this point that I realized I should have asked to go faster at the end. This part was not a big drop, more of an even keel, so going slow was kinda like riding an escalator. But I did it! WOOOO HOOOOO!

Miscarriage

At 3am I woke up from a dream....or a nightmare, rather.

I was in a hospital room (which looked more like a doctor's office). I was pregnant and in labor. The only other person in the room was my brother. He was sitting in a chair against the wall, texting on his cellphone to avoid the awkwardness of being in the room with his laboring sister.

A nurse came in because the baby's heart rate was doing weird things, so she attached a scalp monitor, and told me to just relax. I called my mom and got up, started walking around.

Suddenly the monitor started beeping, the baby's heart rate dropped, dropped, dropped to zero and blood started flowing out from me. A nurse came in, telling me to get back into bed and I hung up with my mom, who came into the room at that moment.

I had a miscarriage during labor because I didn't listen. I stood up when I shouldn't have and my baby died because of it.

Is this a crazy dream brought on by the various events of the past day? Or is there something more? Is it spiritual? And if so, what's it mean? I get the analogy, don't get me wrong, but if its spiritual, what does the baby represent? And why didn't I have a husband in this dream???

It was such a realistic dream. When I jolted awake, I threw back the covers to make sure I wasn't bleeding! To add to the surrealism, as I laid back down, trying to simultaneously fall asleep and figure out the meaning, the computer screen in the other room randomly came on, casting my room in a pale blue hue.

This was one of the strangest dreams I've had. And it had a weird feeling to it, like it was more than just a dream, but I don't know. I guess I'm just going to have to pray about it for a while and see what God reveals.

Have you ever had a crazy, crazy dream that left you awake and wondering?

30 by 30!

Well, I figured I should make this post before I check something off the list tomorrow! This is my list of everything I want to do before I turn thirty in just over 5 years. And can I just say, its really weird that I'm gonna be 30 in 5 years!!!! Craziness! My list actually has 38 things, because I couldn't narrow it down enough, so the extras are bonus! As I complete things, I'll post about them and cross it out on the 30 by 30 page above :) What's on your bucket list?

TRAVEL

• Visit all 7 continents
• Visit the North Pole
• Walk in Jesus’ footsteps
• Go scuba diving
• See the Northern Lights
• Live abroad
• Dance in Spain
• Visit every Disney Park
• Take a trip with no luggage
• Heads Carolina, Tails California (Just drive for a day or so before looking at a map)
• Take a cross country road trip
• Visit a volcano
• Hike the Grand Canyon
• Go to ComiCon

HAPPINESS

• Be part of a flash mob
• Watch the sunset til it turns to stars til it turns to sunrise, in the middle of nowhere
• See a show on Broadway
• Shower under a waterfall
• See a meteor shower
• Say yes to something completely spontaneous
• See a solar eclipse

SERIOUS

• Reach Goal Weight
• Pay off all my debt
• Change the world

SKILLS

• Do a kick up
• Learn to drive stick
• Take a cooking class from a pro
• Learn a language

CHALLENGES

• Polar Plunge
• Do a 365 Photography Project
• Read the whole Bible in 90 days, then in 30.
• Coal Walk
• Climb Kilimanjaro for slavery

MISCELLANEOUS

• Conquer a fear
• Write a book
• Organize something really big (event)
• Shoot a gun

Sex, Money, and That Sick Feeling

Oh my gosh.

Oh.My.Gosh.

What the heck?!

Holy crap holy crap holy crap.

What the &$%@#*$&%^&

Oh my God, save these girls!!

Repeat for an hour and a half.

That's pretty much went through my head during the screening of

The Whistleblower.

This film is based on real events, also captured in a book of the same name.

Basically, to sum it up very quickly, a woman works for the UN in post-war Bosnia. During her work, she comes face-to-face with human trafficking, specifically the sex trade. Worse than that, many government workers and high-ranking officials are involved, not only as customers, but as suppliers. When she tries to end this horrible reality, she is faced with threats to her and the girls involved, and is forced to end her formal investigation. But she cannot simply forget the things she has learned.

She becomes the Whistleblower.

This film is gruesome, intense, and very real. Be warned: this is rated R for good reason. You will be nauseated. It's hard to process this film. It's obviously far different than reading a book about human trafficking (which I've done several times). Seeing this movie made it so much more realistic. I know what I saw was acting, but it was really good acting. And what was depicted really happened. And it's happening right now. All over the world. Even here in the US, here in Mass.

It's sickening. But that word isn't strong enough. I don't have words to fully convey what I'm thinking and feeling. Except to say I have to DO something. But I'm not sure what or how. But I have some ideas, and have to look into some things, and pray about it.

The film comes to select theaters this weekend. Please go see it. Its very intense. Very. But its important to be aware of what's happening in our world, especially if we want to end it.

While you're at it, check out Sex+Money (which I screened on Monday).

It was just as serious, but not as gritty. This one is about sex trafficking right here in the US. Its a documentary with interviews from former prositutes, pimps, clients, and leaders in the abolition movement.

Both films were very well done, on a very serious and important topic. Please check these films out and let me know if you'd like more resources...I've got a ton! Together we can end slavery in our lifetime.

"The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven"

The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven by Kevin and Alex Malarkey

Alex was just 6 years-old when he was in the car accident that would change his family forever. After a virtual death sentence from the doctors, Alex defied medical science and survived. No one knew what he would be like when he awoke from the coma...or if he ever would. When he emerged after 7 weeks in a coma, no one expected to hear the reports of heaven he returned with, or the amazing miracles God was working through the entire experience.

I'm going to start this review objectively, ignoring the subject matter and talking about the book itself. The majority of this book is written by Alex's father, Kevin, recounting the accident and life since. The book spans a few years time, although its not always specific with times and tends to jump around a bit. Kevin shares everything that happened during this time, from stories of faith being tested and marital problems, to conversations with Alex about the supernatural. He makes it clear that the family's faith is what pulled them through, while being honest about his doubts and struggles along the way. I would have liked to hear more from Alex in the book, but it was clear that he didn't want to be the center, and that he wasn't too sure about the whole book business. Overall, this book was pretty well-written, intriguing, and encouraging. Also included were some photos of the accident and Alex recovering.

Now, the personal! I was raised evangelical, so talk of miracles and spiritual warfare is nothing new to me, and is not hard for me to believe. I was also raised to filter what I hear through Scripture to be sure it is truth. That said, I believe Alex's story and find it very encouraging and uplifting to my own walk. Everything Alex says about God and Heaven lines up with the Bible. And he sounds a lot like several Biblical figures when he says there are things that he saw and learned that God will not allow him to speak about. Hearing about this little boy watching his own surgery with Jesus, speaking in his "Heaven language", talking about being attacked by Satan, and hearing his views on prayer, is amazing. It inspires me to take my walk more seriously, to realize that there is so much more to the spiritual realm than what we see and participate in. And how can you not believe a child really walks with God when he is constantly saying that it's not about him? I'll close my review with the quote that I found the most inspiring, especially since it comes from a little kid!

"Daddy, I'm always in prayer because part of my brain, through the Holy Spirit, is in constant communication with Heaven. My mouth is for talking to people." (page 183)

Highly Recommended 5/5 stars

I received a free copy of this book from Tyndale House Publishers in exchange for a review.

"Flourish"

I had a love/hate relationship with this book the entire time I was reading it! As a whole, I enjoyed the book and the core message of living your best life, despite the circumstances. I underlined and wrote down quite a few parts of the book, so I guess it was a worthy read! My criticism, however, is that some parts were very heavily academic. Even as someone with a bachelors degree in science, I had a hard time following along with some of the research.

The first few, and last few chapters I found to be the best, as they were easier to read. They contained more stories and practical applications, compared to the scientific studies of the middle chapters. Weber includes meditation exercises and journaling questions throughout the book, with a complete "Creating my Intentional Life Plan" guide at the end, should you choose to engage in that way.

Final thoughts, this was a generally good book, despite the heavy research sections.

Recommended 3/5 stars.

I received this book for free in exchange for a review as part of LibraryThing's Early Reviewer program.

"Too Rich For A Bride"

After a harsh lesson on a woman's life in the business world, Ida Sinclair joins her sisters in the mining town of Cripple Creek, Colorado. She soon gets a job with the incomparable Mollie O'Bryan and is enjoying the accomplishments and opportunities that come with it, not to mention the attention of two handsome, eligible bachelors. Will it be love, money, or danger that makes Ida see what is truly important in life?

This book is the second in a series by a new-to-me author, but it can stand on its own (I haven't read the first). It was a good story, although it did have some parts that seemed to drag on, and didn't have the depth of characters that I like to see. But the book was well written, with some twists to the story, and make me want to read more from this author. Overall, this was a good read. I did smile at the awkwardness and clumsiness between Ida and Tucker :)

Recommended 3.5/5 stars.

I recieved this book free in exchange for a review as part of LibraryThing's Early Reviewer program.